6 Important Lessons from 2014

I love when the "new year" rolls around, particularly because I love a good "fresh start." Oftentimes when things, years, relationships, what have you, come to an end, it's seen as a bad thing, but in my life, some of the most beautiful moments have come from "ends."

2014 was undoubtedly a weird year. It had wonderful highs and it had incredible lows, but it taught me a few things...

Selfishness. I've always been a selfless person, but almost to a fault. I learned in the tail end of 2013 and throughout all of 2014 that it doesn't hurt to put a little focus on yourself. Oftentimes by putting so much focus and importance on other people, you risk losing site of who you are and what you want. I've penned a post on this for early 2015 - I look forward to sharing more!

Vulnerability. If anyone is a longtime reader of this blog, they know that I poured my heart and soul into a relationship that otherwise ended pretty poorly. After the fact, I built the biggest fort around my heart and if anyone even came close to it...well, I came guns blazin' and scared them away. It wasn't until I spent time in El Salvador that I realized that it was okay to let my guard down - that beautiful things happen when I do. I wrote this in my travel journal on my last night abroad: "It pays to keep your heart open - to love, to trust, to be vulnerable. Despite any pain that might come with it, it's worth it." I've tried to remember that every day since and although its hard, it's so hard, and yes it can be painful, it's worth it. Vulnerability isn't easy, but it's a very powerful thing. If you have time, watch this TED talk by Brene Brown on vulnerability, see here.

There's a "good" in every "bad." Bad things happen. That's life. When they happen consistently it's easy to feel like that's all life is offering you. I've learned this year that no matter what happens, no matter how bad, if you look at the situation "glass half full" you're likely to find a positive among the negatives. Everything is a teachable moment. Everything that happens opens the next door. It's all cause and effect. So, no matter how difficult something is, try to see the positive. It makes a worlds difference.

I don't "deserve" anything more than the next guy. This is a bad habit that I've recently gotten into. You see, the tail end of 2014 was hard. There were so many lows and I found myself repeating some version of "I deserve (happiness, the promotion, a good relationship, etc...)" and it sunk in not too long ago that I deserve jack shit. I don't deserve anything more than the next guy. It's hard to watch other people have things you feel you also deserve, but it's also important to remember that it will happen in due time - timing, after all, is everything. I'm a woman of faith and after some time of saying that to myself I started to feel pretty crappy. I trust in God and so because that's the case, I also trust that what's happening in my life is happening for a reason. Telling God you deserve something, I find, get's you nowhere.

Death can bring out the best and worst in people. Always avoid the latter. In 2014, I lost my dog of 15 years and my grandmother in the same month, both suddenly and traumatically. I was devastated. Losing my grandmother was the first death I was really old enough to understand the weight of. I took part in the funeral arrangements, I helped clean out her place, I was there through all of it. I experienced a heartbreak that I had never felt before only made worse by the way in which the family handled it. There were accusations of stolen items, fighting, rude comments and tension. It only deepened the immense sadness that we already felt and what I realized in that moment is that sometimes death brings out the worst in people, sometimes it even shows their true colors, but it also has the ability to bring out the best if you let it. I learned that in those moments it's best to be supportive, understanding, loving and triumphant because that is what your loved-one would want. Let loss strengthen you.

If you want something, go for it. One of the best lessons I learned in 2014 was that if I want something I need to say it. Sometimes you think people pick up on context clues, but more likely than not, they don't. If you want that promotion, ask. If you want someone to kiss you, tell them. You get what you want in life if you have the balls to go for it!


The lessons I've learned in 2014 far exceed this list, but these are the ones I was most happy to walk away with.  What did you learn?

Happy 2015, all! Be safe tonight - I'll see you in the New Year!

The "Could Haves" and the "Should Haves"

It sort of blows my mind to think of how much of my life would be different had I not attended the college I did. A friend and I got to discussing this over the weekend (while stuck in the car with a flat tire) and it's one of those thoughts that leaves your mind reeling - seriously, try it. Pinpoint a moment in life and then imagine if it had never happened. What lesson wouldn't you have learned? Who would you have never met?

College was the first thought that popped into my mind when I thought of this because had I not gone where I did, I'd have never met my two best friends, I would have never met my ex (which the lessons learned from that relationship are beneficial enough to count this as a negative), I probably wouldn't be employed where I am...I could go on. Attending school where I did changed my life forever and I wonder what path I'd be on at the moment if that hadn't happened how it did.

Looking at life like this, through the lens of "what would I have missed out on had I not"..., is, I think, pretty positive. I've since looked at some bad situations through this light and it certainly brings about a new value. Each moment in life leads you to the next, no matter how crappy that moment is. Everything is a building block. You have to sort of believe that every moment will lead you to the next and once that happens, the bad moments, albeit still bad, will make a little more sense.

My challenge this Monday and really, for all of 2015, is to learn to look at life through this lens more often.

Merry Christmas and Happy 2015

I am sick for the holidays this year, like really sick. Started last Friday with a mean case of laryngitis and evolved into a really terrible cold on Monday. Yesterday I tried to work, I really did, but I ended up working remotely with a hot compress over my eyes, barely accomplishing anything. Today, Christmas Eve, I am writing from my work desk, which isn't much of a joyful place either because there are basically two people in the office and everything is in shambles because we are moving - this is actually kind of exciting, the moving part, I mean.

This is the first Christmas Eve that I have ever spent away from my family...that I've ever worked! It's strange, it's a very strange and adult-ish thing to do and I'm unsure how I feel about it. All I know is that Christmas spirit is hard to come by when you've been running a fever on and off for the last 6 days.

Whatever, I ordered Thai food for lunch...so there are simple pleasures.

I am happy it's Christmastime, don't get me wrong. It's my favorite time of year, but after losing my Nana this June the family has collectively lost some of the magic that comes with the season. More than anything, I am most excited for 2015. I would be lying if I said that I didn't love 2014...I did. The end of 2013 and start of 2014 were both trying seasons, but they were beautiful. Beautiful and wonderful things happened and I can honestly say 2014 was one of my favorite years so far, but it's also been one of the hardest, especially the last 6 months. Yet, hard as it's been, it's been sprinkled with simple joys, good friends, nights I will never forget, and moments with my family that I'll cherish forever. 2015 just feels good. It sounds good. I have this instinctual feeling that big things are about to happen and so I am welcoming the new year with big, open arms...like one of those slow, beach scenes where two people are running towards each other with dramatic music.

Just like last year, I thought that I'd take some time and share what my goals/resolutions are for the new year....so here goes nothing!

This Year...

A bad habit I am going to break....Overeating
A new skill I'd like to learn....Spanish, paddle boarding and to refine my skiing skills!
A person I hope to be more like...Mother Teresa
A good deed I am going to do...Sponsor a child
A place I'd like to visit....Seattle or Costa Rica
A book I'd like to read....The Bible (in full)
A new food I'd like to try and make....Pupusas
I'm going to do better at...Being consistent (especially on this little blog) and controlling my anxiety

What are you going to do in 2015?

Photo courtesy of Thyme is Honey...read this blog, it's lovely!

On that note, I'll see everyone in the New Year. I hope the holiday brings an abundance of blessings to you and your families.