Thoughts on a Thought Catalog list...

Thought Catalog recently published the list, 19 Things You Accomplish Before Getting Married.  I was perplexed at first because they totally plagiarized themselves since they published a very similar list in July by a different writer entitled, 19 Things You Should Do Before You Get Married.  Personally, I like the first list better.

So...lets reflect on that one. 

I guess I'm still dealing with my breakup, right?  I'm 90% fine, but I guess that 10% that leaves my mind reeling means I am still in the post-apocalyptic phase.  I appreciate this list for that reason because clearly...so much left to do! *hand-clapping iPhone emojii* - go ahead, judge me for that...

Here are some personal favorites:

 2. Love your body. While it’s true that the media would often convince us that we’ll only feel beautiful in the arms of someone who loves and approves of us physically, when we’re alone in front of an unforgiving mirror, the only thoughts we’re left with are our own. Going into any relationship feeling ugly, unlovable, and as though you should be ashamed of the way you look is a recipe for disaster. If you think you’re not worthy or capable of being touched and admired, even if someone disagrees with you, it’s going to be difficult to feel their love through all the layers of self-loathing. Though no one wakes up one day and goes, “Oh hell yeah I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m f-cking gorgeous,” it wouldn’t hurt to work on becoming happy with your body and finding some balance every day.

3. Accomplish something just for you. It could be graduating from school, starting a challenging job, or just facing a fear you need to prove you can overcome. Frankly, the obstacles and goal posts we have scattered throughout our lives come in all shapes and sizes, and only you should be concerned with the parameters you set for success and accomplishment. But if we don’t do things to make ourselves happy and feel as though we accomplished something, we can easily become complacent, or feel that we shouldn’t even try, because we’ll never reach our goals. The longer we go without achieving something because we want to, the harder it will become to start up that hill.

7. Learn from the time you dated someone and treated them like crap. Everyone has that one relationship where they’re not particularly proud of the way they behaved. They took someone for granted, they picked fights, and acted generally like a jerk. While such behavior is certainly not commendable, you learn a lot about yourself through treating someone badly. Mainly, you realize who you don’t want to be and what kind of relationship you don’t want to have, which makes you more prepared for something like marriage. You can’t ever go back to the way you acted because it made you hate yourself. Your future husband/wife will feel relieved that you got this relationship out of your system.

11. Get your heart broken. Whether from losing a good friend, having a fight you know you were wrong in, or seeing a love you were sure was forever end prematurely — we all need to know what it feels like to be broken. Perhaps the most essential thing about heartbreak is coming out on the other side and realizing that, no matter how badly you are hurting in the moment, it’s going to pass and you are going to be happy again. Few things manage to put future fights, anger, and sadness into perspective than getting over a real heartbreak at least once.

15. Live alone/ be alone. People can go their entire lives skipping from relationship to relationship because they’re afraid of being alone. Being alone isn’t always a walk on the beach, but it’s important to develop the capacity to rely on yourself for happiness before you pass off so much of that weight to another human being. 

16. Fall in love with a friend. What is this strange idea that only the people you have sex with/ marry are the people you are supposed to fall head-over-heels in love with? What a sad life we would all be living if we were incapable of loving someone just for long car rides, laughing at stupid TV shows, and staying up late eating junk food and drinking straight from the bottle. Take the time to experience love in all the forms that you routinely mistake for being “boring old friendship.”

How can you not appreciate this list?  I particularly love 15 and 16.  Being alone is difficult, especially when you're used to being a pair.  That was the case for me and when it ended I was beside myself.  However, I quickly learned the benefits of taking some time for myself.  I think there is something to be said about being comfortable all alone because you get the opportunity to decided whether or not you actually like yourself.  If you do, great...if not, make some changes.  I feel sorry for people that can't be alone.  There's no intimacy greater than getting to know and love yourself without the comfort of a significant other.  Number 16 is equally as great and is something I'm experiencing now.  I've gotten the opportunity to put so much love and time into my friendships and they have just blossomed.  People forget about their friends, especially while in relationships and its foolish.  It's a mistake that I will never make again. 

What are your thoughts on this list?