What not to say on a first date...some tips and a few horrifying examples

Guys...dating is hard.  Like really, really hard.  The saying goes "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince."  I get that...it's so incredibly true, but the whole kissing frogs thing is getting old!

These past few months I've been on a handful of really awful dates and a few not so bad dates and a few good dates that just lead nowhere...

What I've learned in all of it is to laugh; at yourself, your date (when appropriate) and the uphill battle that is dating.

Here's a few words of wisdom:

• Never, ever, EVER lead with the fact that you like to smoke a lot of marijuana (this has happened to me twice...two separate dates in the last three months.  My friends are getting a kick out of it)
• Never follow that up with the fact that you used to be a drug dealer
• Certainly never correct someone.  You may be a stickler for grammar but just because your date slips up in conversation does warrant you to be pretentious...I'm just saying
• Don't ever order for your date...just don't.  I don't even think I have to tell you why
• Do not bad mouth your ex.  Rule of thumb, don't even bring up past relationships on the first date.  If you are even remotely worth my time, I'll tell you all about that at a later time
• Also leave religion out of it.  I went on a date once actually wait twice where the guys tried to convince me God wasn't real.  LOL.  Who talks about that on a first date? SAVE IT
• If you are "playing the field" make sure you are respectful to your date.  I respect keeping your options open but finishing the date by telling me you are dating two other people but that I may have knocked one out of the running isn't going to work.  Just remember that no one in their right mind wants to hear their date say that out loud..it doesn't make you look good
• OH yeah don't tell your date you are trying to "dumb something down" for them just because they didn't go to school to study the same thing you did or may not be as well versed in something as you.  

I'm sure I am forgetting things...but even so, these should get you by ;)

Happy hunting, erm...dating...

Just stick me on a farm

A few months ago I was watching Extra Virgin on the Cooking Channel.  I love Debi and Gabriele, like probably way too much.  Anyway, it was the episode where they buy chickens.  Needless to say, since then I've had an obsession with having my own chickens someday.  Somehow...somehow, that has manifested into me wanting to live on a little farm!  It's funny, I grew up in rural New Jersey.  Very country, very little, very boring.  I wanted nothing to do with it come graduation and couldn't wait to head to NYC and be the "city girl" I'd always dreamed of being.  Turns out, I don't like being a city girl.  Truth is, I really appreciate a slower paced life.  I really like my little country town (although I don't wish to ever live there once my parents retire.)  Regardless, this little farm obsession is silly and I love it.

Here are a few pictures I found on Pinterest that could basically turn anyone into a farmer.

 

Has your heart melted yet?

Also - for some future reading, check out this blog!  She is amazing...she's a farmer...and she's always dishing up fantastic farm fresh and seasonably inspired food. 

Some food for thought

 "Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.  We need hours of aimless wandering or spates of time sitting on park benches, observing the mysterious world of ants and the canopy of treetops."

-Maya Angelou 

I expressed to you all in my last post that my absence on this blog lately has everything to do with my over packed schedule.  At the moment, I work three days a week in New York City, am involved in a national public relations competition in the evenings, work an on campus job on Tuesdays and Fridays, am the managing editor of my school newspaper on Wednesdays and any other day of the week that job demands and I go to school on Tuesdays in between everything else.  I'm overwhelmed.  I've had no time for friends, for fun, for anything for that matter and it's my senior year of college.  I've always been transparent with you all and if I'm being totally honest, I am feeling deflated these days.  I'm doing what I can to make my schedule easier and to enjoy the down time that I have.  As of today I will only be working two days in Manhattan and that alone alleviates some stress.  Even if I can't make my schedule "less busy" I am seeking ways to be present and calm in my down time. 

It hit me today that I need to do more for myself.  I was home this weekend visiting my parents and as I was leaving and hugging my dad goodbye on Sunday night, I found myself crying...I cried the whole way back to school.  I just didn't want to face my week and that shouldn't be the case.

I am the type of person that refuses to admit when I'm feeling overwhelmed or a little bit down.  Today I've admitted it. Ironically, I saw this quote today and it really resonated with me. It's necessary to unplug sometimes, to take time for yourself.  I hope that if you read this and are feeling this way...you too will choose to do what's best for you <3

Monday.

Every once in a while I fall off the face of the earth and each time that happens I pop back here and give you all a million excuses.  The truth is, when life get's really busy, I have a really hard time balancing.  Ultimately, certain things need to be sacrificed and sadly the blog is often a sacrifice I need to make.  Recently I've toyed with getting rid of it, but I stop myself because one day I will have the time to dedicate to this, so I keep it going.  I'm working to figure out a few ways that I can be more present on here with you all..so just bear with me.

Can we chat for a second about this weather?  Because...I cannot deal with it anymore. Commuting into the city looking like a bundled Eskimo is getting to be a bit too much and it's dragging me down.  It's the tail end of Fashion Week in New York and that typically motivates me to pull out the stops, but I haven't worn makeup since Wednesday so that lets you know how that is going.

Today has just been a whirlwind but I'll spare you.  In the meantime, just know I'm here and will do my best to be present.  

I've got a great spring wish list to share with you all that I have been working on so keep an eye out!

Wanderlust and Spain 2009

I mentioned very recently on the blog that I have been dying to go to Italy, but let's be real here...I am dying to go anywhere.  The great news is that my dream of going to El Salvador is back on (trip was rescheduled) and my girlfriend and I are planning a trip to Europe after I graduate as my last attempt at freedom before adulthood.  We don't have a place in mind right now seeing as we both are just eager to travel, but we are planning on using Groupon for the trip.  Has anyone every used Groupon for a trip and what did you all think about it?  I always value your opinions and love when ya'll email.  Even if you guys have found cheap ways to travel abroad that didn't use Groupon, those suggestions are welcome also :)

In the meantime, I went through my old photos and found some pictures from when I went to Spain!  Wanted to share (these are from 2009 - so crazy)

Simple Joys

I'm a big believer in doing things to make yourself happy.  I've always been someone that has neglected myself, especially when I first came to college.  I would worry about making everyone else happy and forget that I needed to be happy too.  Now that I'm older and wiser (I'd like to think I'm wiser), I try and do even the smallest thing to bring joy to my day.  That includes everything from making time for Bible study or my devotional, buying flowers, stopping for a latte and reading.

Be good to yourselves!!!  What little things do you do for happiness?  

What I'm reading

This is the last semester of my college career.  I am taking a drawing class and a class about PowerPoint and thus this will be the easiest semester of my life.  I am looking forward to burying myself into a few good books when I have down time (considering between work and everything else I will certainly have 'down time').  I've just started the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.

I can already think of a 1,000 reasons why I love this book, but it really comes down to one important thing; equality.  I love when a person challenges societies perception of equality (because in most people's eye's we have achieved this, but in reality have not).  This book does just that; it challenges the inequality women still face in life.  Some people call it a feminist manifesto and that confuses me...shouldn't we all be feminists? Men and women included...you're a feminist if you believe in the equal rights of men and women, so there.

While I think this book is important for men to read, I find it especially important for women.  While even as a woman you might not agree with everything she is saying, it's a hell of a good book.

Here are a few favorite quotes:

"We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change."

"Fortune does favor the bold and you'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try."

"There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."

"Real change will come when powerful women are less of an exception.  It is easy to dislike senior women because there are so few."

"The promise of equality is not the same as true equality."