Just stick me on a farm

A few months ago I was watching Extra Virgin on the Cooking Channel.  I love Debi and Gabriele, like probably way too much.  Anyway, it was the episode where they buy chickens.  Needless to say, since then I've had an obsession with having my own chickens someday.  Somehow...somehow, that has manifested into me wanting to live on a little farm!  It's funny, I grew up in rural New Jersey.  Very country, very little, very boring.  I wanted nothing to do with it come graduation and couldn't wait to head to NYC and be the "city girl" I'd always dreamed of being.  Turns out, I don't like being a city girl.  Truth is, I really appreciate a slower paced life.  I really like my little country town (although I don't wish to ever live there once my parents retire.)  Regardless, this little farm obsession is silly and I love it.

Here are a few pictures I found on Pinterest that could basically turn anyone into a farmer.

 

Has your heart melted yet?

Also - for some future reading, check out this blog!  She is amazing...she's a farmer...and she's always dishing up fantastic farm fresh and seasonably inspired food. 

New York, I will always love you

Back in February, New York City started feeling different to me, like I was falling out of love with the city streets that once caught my eye.  As a girl, I was enamored with the flashing lights and the idea that this city never, under any circumstances slept.  Soon after pursuing a job in Manhattan, those city streets that once enamored me only made me sad.  Granted I was commuting during one of the coldest winters, but regardless, it was tough to find myself second guessing the place I thought I loved so much.

I think it had a lot to do with the people.  New York City is home to millions of diverse people, which for me, was what made it so appealing in the first place.  Yet, with all of those people comes a lot of sadness and struggle.  The more I frequented New York, the more I saw and the more I began resenting the city. My heart ached for those people...it still does. I've learned a lot since that internship ended and I've especially learned to love New York again for both its pluses and minuses.  The people are what make New York and their experiences are what keeps it going.

I recently stumbled upon a truly beautiful project called Humans of New York where Brandon (no last name given) photographs people on the streets of New York and gives their picture a home on his increasingly popular blog.  The photo's are accompanied with quotes from those pictured usually prompted by Brandon, but if not, he adds his own commentary.  It's truly a beautiful blog, please check him out.  Here are my favorites:

"I like that she is super strong and tough, but that sometimes she just likes being 'a girl'."

"The Australian Consulate asked me to give advice to an incoming group of Australian immigrants, so I'll tell you what I told them."
"What's that."
"It doesn't matter how good you are, or how hard you work.  There will always be someone in this city who's better at your job than you are."

"I'll give you the same advice that I give everyone."
"What's that?"
"Have a short memory for offenses, and a long memory for kindnesses."

My life lately

Well I'm home and it feels bittersweet.  I am a mix of emotions with an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. Work this past two and a half weeks has been phenomenal and while I really miss my friends, It's nice to have a home cooked meal ;)

This year I moved back to school for work incredibly nervous.  My friends had graduated and aside from Tim and a select few others, I felt like I had no one.  Gosh, I was wrong.  In general, it helped me open up and foster new relationships, all the while learning so much about myself.  It was my favorite year doing this job by far.

The job itself is a weird environment, almost like camp.  We all move in to a dorm and spend 24/7 together and for a relationship that can be tough.  Not because spending 24/7 together is hard, it is because we can't. In front of our bosses we keep it professional and outside of the job we pay careful attention to creating new friendships.  Despite, what can be a difficult environment, Tim and I had a great time and I think the highlight of my time with him this past two and half weeks was this past Sunday.  We went to church in the morning and then went out for brunch.  There's nothing I love more than going to church with Tim and a close second would be just sitting and talking to him.  I got a two in one deal that day and I couldn't help but feel on top of the world.  Having him in my life is the most phenomenal thing and watching him work and interact with others make me so proud of him.  I love him more than life itself.

Overall, work this year taught me to expect change, to open my heart, and above all else to love myself.  A couple of weeks ago I talked about some things I wanted to accomplish this summer and making myself a better person was one of them.  I think these past few days I have really started to hit the nail on the head...although I would really still love to work on my anxiety but that will be an ongoing project.

Here are a few pictures!

Some of the PA's at beach day!

Ronnie and I!  I'm wearing a name tag here that took me 4 days to realize it was spelled wrong...

The only beautiful night we got when we went to camp...it poured the next two...

Just the greatest roommate :)

Date night with these three boys!  Clearly I am the fourth wheel...

Two of the girls at work surprised me and bought my Saint's medal...so overwhelmed and blessed to have them.

I just can't handle this photo....

 Seniors <3

Life lately!

I feel like I've been hibernating this past week and I've got to be honest....I needed this.  Summer vacation has always been so easy to embrace in years past but this time it feels like I am waiting for more work to show up!  I think it's because junior year was so hard and overall exhausting, but I survived (and now I'm a senior! whhaaat?!) 

Since I have been home, I took some major needed time to spend with my best friend Maggie which was amazing, but mostly I have been cleaning out my room.  On my summer goals list I noted that I wanted to clean out my room and donate a lot.  Well that goal is completed!  Everything is in boxes ready to be donated and my room is so clean and organized I can't even handle it.  I have to give a huge shout out to my mom who I actually could not have done this without.  It was too overwhelming to do on my own.  I also built a bookcase all by myself...which, um, go me?!

On Tuesday, Tim and I were up with the sun and headed into the city to see the Chew again!  Tim that morning called and convinced me to bring my copy of Relish, Daphne Oz's new book, and boy I am glad that I did!  We got there really early and were the first couple in the door which landed us on the TASTING TABLE.  Holy crap I was so excited guys!  It ended up being so amazing because I got to meet and talk to all of the hosts and Daphne even signed my book!

We spent the rest of the day bumming around some of the stores and stopping at Bouchon Bakery for some coffee and macaroons.

love the new app from BeautifulMess!!! Everyone get it! So cute and fun.

A familiar feeling. Thoughts on the Boston Marathon.

I'll never forget the day 9/11 happened, mostly because I don't think any nine year old at that time could forget the confusion we all felt.  I can't say for sure if I truly understood what was going on that day, all I remember is being terrified   I cried because my mom cried and I was scared because I knew she was.  For months afterward the sight and sound of an airplane sent me running, sometimes crying.  I think most kids' parents sheltered them from the news and magazine covers, but mine didn't.  Not because they didn't want to, but because I was curious, I couldn't stand to look away from the television and I surely couldn't help picking up the publications at our local A&P.  As time went on I became increasingly unnerved because I knew more and more.  I began to understand what this world was like.

My mom brings up the same story every time we discuss 9/11.  She remembers me being so concerned that someday I would have to explain this to my children.  She told me I thought long and hard on the situation and of all things to upset me, that seemed to be the worst.  What a wise thought for a 9-year-old.  If I think back now I vaguely remember telling my dad that it bothered me that my children would learn about this day in their history classes.  My children will come home one day and ask me if I remember what it was like when the Twin Towers fell and that makes me sad.

This brings me all to today.  Yesterday, a person or a group of people bombed the Boston Marathon.  While we don't know if it was an attack sent from abroad or one sent from the confines of our country, to see the words 'terrorist attack' in the news again on our soil is scary.  But what I found to be more upsetting was the fact that I didn't feel surprised.  Disturbed? Yes. Surprised? No.  My mind quickly searched for the memory of 9/11 and I couldn't help feeling sad.  Just another thing for the history books.

My parents and Tim asked me not to go into work today and at first I fought them on the idea.  I felt safe enough to go in, I trust my county.  At the same time, I'm a little glad I didn't.  Instead, I will donate blood today and continue to pray for the runners and their families as well as the onlookers affected by the bombs.

So I think I'll stay indoors

It's gross today in the city.  After the snow/ice last night and what has turned into a misty rain, New York is just wet.  Slush is everywhere you walk, everyone is fighting for space on the sidewalk with their umbrellas (I refer to this as umbrella wars) and you have to stand far from the street in fear of being splashed by a car.  It's one of those days that I'd rather be home in the comfort of my bed than at work, but atleast I don't have to go outside today.  Atleast not until it is time to leave.   I find it so hard to believe that spring starts tomorrow and we are still having the cold temperatures that we are experiencing.  To raise my spirits I decided to paint my nails with one of the new shades off of Essie's spring line.  It is the best damn blue I have ever bought.  So bright and so fun!  It's absolutley raising my spirits on this crappy day.

It's slow in the office today, so there's that.  In other news, I'm still struggling with my weight loss.  I have been feeling extra self concious these days but I promise you all I have been sticking to the diet.  It's just rough and it doesn't help when you are dressing for awful weather.  There's nothing about myself right now that makes me feel pretty. 

Also, as a side note.  Thank you to all of you who are reading.  It makes this blog so enjoyable for me!!

A little bit of Italy right in New York City

Recently, I have taken up an obsession with Italy.  I don't know if it has something to do with a series of blog posts I recently read from my favorite blogger or if the travel bug that bit me in high school after my trip to Spain has shown back up and bit me again.  Regardless of the reason, I have become all sorts of obsessed with the beautiful country that is Italy.

The sad news is that I do not have the funds to send myself to Italy and lets face it...I would never go alone.  Tim and I will probably have kids by the time this trip is feasible...but hopefully not.  He isn't as infatuated as I am with the idea of Italy, but I don't think he'd oppose the trip if we could afford it.  So because I know that trip isn't at the tip of our fingers just yet I have been trying to find ways to bring Italy to us.

What I found was Eataly in NYC...which is probably my most favorite find since Tim. ;)

Last Thursday my mom, Tim and I were in the city to see a taping of The Chew (blog post on that to follow) and after watching people cook for an hour...we were starving.  I had found Eataly online not too long ago and have been dying to go since.  Tim and my mom were champs and let me drag them across town to 5th Ave. to experience this phenomenal food market/restaurant.

Basically Eataly is a food lovers dream.  It has everything you could need, equipped with a fully stocked market and nine different restaurants.

That day we ate at La Pizza & La Pasta and I had the best damn pasta I had ever eaten.

Ravioli filled with ricotta cheese, butternut squash and amaretto cookie. It was in a brown butter sauce.  UGH to DIE for.  

Seriously, if you are ever in the city and are near 5th ave...hell even if you aren't...GO THERE.

New York City...you aren't the same

A little over a week ago when we had that huge snowstorm, my favorite blogger wrote something that stung a little.  She was talking about the snow and how beautiful it was at first in the city but how it quickly turned into a gross, slushy mess outside.

"Sad how fast that pretty stuff turns black here in the city."

It hit a sore spot in my heart because I don't think that applies to just snow...

I have always loved New York, don't get me wrong.  As a little girl I fantasized about living and working in the city.  I wanted to make it big as a writer, never marry and slave over my career for the rest of my life.  Granted I was a cynical teenager who had yet to get into the real world (who had yet to fall in love-that changes everything).  The point is, I never stopped loving it. I got to college and still hoped to work there someday...to be that working girl in the city like every women I had ever admired.

When I took my recent job in the city I was ecstatic to be working in the city for the first time.  I had a glamorous job and life seemed to be falling into my hands the way that I wanted it.  What I soon realized was that the glamorous lifestyle that I thought New York provided was simply not the case.

Commuting into the city twice a week opens your eyes to a lot of New York that you otherwise wouldn't see.  While you might not be a resident, by default, the time you spend in the city in some ways makes you an honorary New Yorker.  You learn a lot about New York in a short time.  You realize that those people you admire (the working people) are actually pretty cranky and they don't love life like you thought they did.  You also become aware of how sad New York can be.  You see the homeless...you see the drugs...you see everything.  You see things you wish you hadn't.  I think beautiful things come to New York and in someways the city kills them.  I think if you let it, New York can ruin a dream. 

Maybe it's that I have changed.  I'm not that same teenage girl that I used to be that wanted the fast-paced New York lifestyle.  I am in love and with that comes a load of different dreams.  I want a home with a yard, I want a family, I want a slower paced life that I can enjoy.  I no longer want New York.  So maybe because I no longer want New York I am so aware of the negatives.  Don't get me wrong, there are still parts I love.  I just am no longer enarmored with this concrete jungle. 

New York will always have a place in my heart...always.  It's just no longer for me and sometimes that makes me sad.