Confessions of a college student

Quite frankly, I am freaking tired.  I'm a junior now, which means I have been working my butt off for the last three years patiently (okay impatiently) waiting for graduation.  As I approach my senior year I am growing wearier of what is to come.  I'm actually scared to death.

Given some time, college wears you thin.  There are too many expectations from too many people and I am seriously at my wits end.  Why are we never allowed to decided what we want for ourselves at this age?  Instead, we let a million other people tell us what we should be doing and criticize us for what we aren't doing and then we obsess over it a million times!  It's not fair and to be frank, it's a vicious cycle.  I sat down tonight with Tim's sister and brother-in-law (who should honestly travel the world as motivational speakers for weary college kids) and they talked some sense into me.

"You'll be fine," they told me. 

If you had asked me if I would be fine this morning when I rolled out of bed for church, I would have laughed till I was blue in the face.  Lately I have been feeling a lot of pressure from those in my field of work including students, professors, advisors and my internship.  I feel like I haven't sat down to really think about what I want from my life and my career, instead, I hyper-focus on what others tell me I need to do.  That concept is ridiculous and I'm not afraid to feel that way anymore.  Especially not after today's pep-talk.  No way, right now I feel empowered.

I feel empowered to do what I want with my career.  I feel empowered to be my own person and to listen to my intuitions not those around me clouding my judgment.  I once had a professor tell me that If I wanted to be successful as a woman in my field of work, I should plan to never marry and never have children.  I left class upset that night (who am I kidding, I called Tim crying).  The point is, that's not true and I wont let that affect me anymore.

I guess what I want to stress to everyone is that you need to do what makes you happy and to do it on your own accord otherwise you wont be happy.  The truth is, I don't want to do what those people tell me I should do.  I just want to be happy.  I'm glad his sister and brother-in-law provided some clarity because I needed it.  Sometimes things just wear you thin and if all else fails just trust the person that tells you that you'll be fine.  They are probably right.