Apple picking and other noteworthy pictures

Back in business, folks

A friend of mine wrote to me today and asked why I had stopped blogging.  It dawned on me then that I hadn't written in a very long time.  I was certainly aware of my unannounced hiatus but it really hit me this morning that I was letting people down who read this blog.  I have friends, family, and readers who have contributed so much love to my blogging experience and I was very ready to throw in the towel.  I had decided about a week ago that my laziness might as well be a hiatus and I might as well just return after the holidays.  The thing is, I've been feeling very uninspired.  About three months ago when From Scratch was in the design phase, I wrote another blog which chronicled my life in my relationship....and then my relationship ended.  So, the inspiration for From Scratch derived from the idea that my life was starting over.  Remember that age old saying, "don't put your eggs in one basket?" Yeah, don't.  I did and it totally sucked.  The point is, I was motivated to start From Scratch because I literally had to press the abort mission button on my old blog and restart.  I essentially changed my identity.  I was so inspired to write openly and honestly and then I realized I wanted privacy...just for a little.  I got rid of Facebook and just lived my life.  It felt good and I don't necessarily feel like putting myself back on the grid and sharing all of my deepest darkest thoughts and opinions about life in general, but still.  I do however feel like putting time into something I love...which is this blog.

So for those of you that do read...hang tight.

Sweet things I'm loving right now

It's beginning to feel like fall around here and I couldn't be more excited.  To ring in the chilly weather I've taken note of a few things I'm absolutely loving these days!

1.  Sweet Leaf Tea: I've loved this tea for quite some time and I tend to hold onto their bottle caps for a few reasons.  Not only do they make cute decorations for a dorm room (this picture doesn't do the amount I have justice) but they also provide some daily wisdom.  I take a look at them once in a while and it's a fun way to stop and think.  Recent favorites: "Turn the world on with a smile" and "If you didn't know your age, how old would you be?"

2.  This adorable fall print from Jones Design Company!  I can't wait to hang this in my room.  It's everything I love about this time of the year...minus the antlers...I love animals a little too much to hang em' on my wall.  

3.  This lipstick:  I have been wearing it every chance I can get (actually every time I go out, see below) since it showed up in my August Birchbox!  Rest assured, I'll be buying a new one when my sample runs out!  

 

4.  The Lumineers, Mumford & Sons and Good Old War.  There's nothing like a good fall playlist to cozy up too.  I am fan of a ton of different bands and genre's of music but The Lumineers, Mumford & Sons and Good Old War always tend to make it feel more like fall.  I have such fond memories attached to their music.  Its feel good music for me and thus all three play quietly in the background all day long.  

5.  I've been sorta kinda dying to die my hair.  But not all the way, maybe just a subtle ombre... I am currently loving the idea of putting in warm red highlights!

6.  This picture: seriously I can't stop laughing...

7.  New restaurants!  My girlfriends and I have been trying a few new places lately and I've gotten to try some fabulous food...below are my favorites:

Crab cake wrap, crab nachos and smores cheescake...yum!

8.  My family and friends: I wanted to throw them all a little shout out.  They've truly been a blessing <3

What are you guys loving right now?!

The Anxiety Diaries, extending my comfort zone

Everyone has a comfort zone…that’s just common knowledge.  Howevvveeerrrr, for people with anxiety our comfort zone is like a bed of fantastically comfortable blankets in which we refuse to leave.  Leaving is terrifying….like “holy crap” scary.  We often watch from the sidelines and think, “That looks like so much fun, but no really…I’ll stay here!”

I've found lately in my life especially that I’d like to get rid of this comfort zone.

Dear Comfort Zone,

Go. Away.

Sincerely,

Ashley

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

I’d like to start doing things that would otherwise make me uncomfortable.  For example, I hate when the attention is on me because I obviously just assume that I am awkward and fugly* and that everyone knows it but lies to my face.  Anyway, I try to avoid doing things that make me look like a fool because in my head I already look like one (wow that sounds stupid when I say it out loud.)  The point is, the other day I was at an event for my school and that song that you do “The Wobble” too came on and all of my friends ran out into the middle to start dancing.  I obviously stayed on the sidelines with a girlfriend of mine who also has anxiety because, you know, fuzzy comfy blankets…obv not leaving!  One of our friends ran back and grabbed the both of us, dragged us to the center, taught us “The Wobble,” and made us dance.  I later thanked him.  He probably thought I was a crazy person, but seriously I was so thankful.  I felt like I had climbed Mt. Everest and held a dance party at the top.  Here I was in my damn navy blue bicycle print dress (yep, you can find it at Target) dancing to “The Wobble” and I was having the time of my life.  I didn't care that I looked like a fool, because you do, you just do when you are doing this dance.  If you don’t know it, look it up, teach it to yourself and then dance it alone.  Wobble till you can’t freaking Wobble anymore.  I was proud.  I had left my comfort zone and didn't even want to go back.  I’d like to make this a trend in life because leaving my comfort zone was so refreshing.

Since this moment I have tried to push myself a little farther in life and let me tell you...it's so rewarding!  I think if you do one thing a day that you normally wouldn't do, then you've been successful.  Ever since I made the decision to push myself more, it feels like certain daily anxieties that I would have have subdued.  I know this isn't a result from just that, but I'd like to think it plays a huge part.

If you are the type to stay within your comfort zone typically...I challenge you!  Go do something you wouldn't normally do and just feel amazing about it.  It helps.

 

*Look this word up on Urban Dictionary…thank me later ;)

**I am not an expert in anxiety and if you are feeling it intensely, please seek help in some way!  This series is not meant to be anything other than my experience with my own anxiety.  I hope it provides everyone a little laughter and a lot of relief.  

Series:

The Anxiety Diaries, a welcome address

Do people still make bucket lists?

Do people still make bucket lists?  Like, is that a thing?  Or do people going through midlife crises only do it…

Whatever, I want to make one.  Not because I want to go do crazy things my senior year but basically just to go to different things!  I’m all about leaving my comfort zone these days so bring it on bucket list*

Fall 2013 Goals/BUCKET LIST!!!**

Goals:

•  Workout at least 5x a week
•  Go out/be with friends 1-2 times a weekend
•  Attend at least one event with my internship
•  Secure internship for Spring
• Brush teeth 2x a day – do not judge me for this…I only brush once right now but I feel like I should be more attentive to them…they deserve it.
•  Blog at least 3x a week
•  4.0 GPA – I’ve always had a lame 3.9 or 3.8
•   Read at least one book that I actually want to read.  Sorry professors.
• Go to church every Sunday
•  Do something out of my comfort zone at least once of month (See below).

Bucket List:***

•  Run a 5k in November
• Take a road trip/day trip/regular trip to Boston/Philly/or DC
• Go to a winery
• Go on a service trip
• Go to the San Gennaro festival in NYC
•  Plan a vacation with my girlfriends
• Go to at least one concert
• Go zip lining

*This is actually such a lame bucket list, sorry guys.

**I can’t help but think of the song Blurred Lines as I write this because really, where is the line drawn between goals and a bucket list? 

***This is just going to keep getting longer and longer.

My life lately

Well I'm home and it feels bittersweet.  I am a mix of emotions with an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. Work this past two and a half weeks has been phenomenal and while I really miss my friends, It's nice to have a home cooked meal ;)

This year I moved back to school for work incredibly nervous.  My friends had graduated and aside from Tim and a select few others, I felt like I had no one.  Gosh, I was wrong.  In general, it helped me open up and foster new relationships, all the while learning so much about myself.  It was my favorite year doing this job by far.

The job itself is a weird environment, almost like camp.  We all move in to a dorm and spend 24/7 together and for a relationship that can be tough.  Not because spending 24/7 together is hard, it is because we can't. In front of our bosses we keep it professional and outside of the job we pay careful attention to creating new friendships.  Despite, what can be a difficult environment, Tim and I had a great time and I think the highlight of my time with him this past two and half weeks was this past Sunday.  We went to church in the morning and then went out for brunch.  There's nothing I love more than going to church with Tim and a close second would be just sitting and talking to him.  I got a two in one deal that day and I couldn't help but feel on top of the world.  Having him in my life is the most phenomenal thing and watching him work and interact with others make me so proud of him.  I love him more than life itself.

Overall, work this year taught me to expect change, to open my heart, and above all else to love myself.  A couple of weeks ago I talked about some things I wanted to accomplish this summer and making myself a better person was one of them.  I think these past few days I have really started to hit the nail on the head...although I would really still love to work on my anxiety but that will be an ongoing project.

Here are a few pictures!

Some of the PA's at beach day!

Ronnie and I!  I'm wearing a name tag here that took me 4 days to realize it was spelled wrong...

The only beautiful night we got when we went to camp...it poured the next two...

Just the greatest roommate :)

Date night with these three boys!  Clearly I am the fourth wheel...

Two of the girls at work surprised me and bought my Saint's medal...so overwhelmed and blessed to have them.

I just can't handle this photo....

 Seniors <3

I'm alive I promise...

I feel like a bad mom who has neglected her child (the blog being my child, of course.)  I probably should have warned you all or maybe even prepared better for what's been going on, but alas I did not.  Every summer (although this is my last) I go back to school for 3 weeks for work.  It's an incredibly rewarding job but it's also time consuming, demanding all of my attention and energy.  It's not that I haven't thought about the blog, it actually has made me sad to think that my little corner of the internet is collecting cob webs!  I promise to be better the next two weeks...I'll at least try.

Life has been good, stressful but good.  With two jobs pulling my creative juices in opposite directions, I think I just feel drained.  Being at work for these 3 weeks is both exhilarating and difficult.  We don't really have much time to do anything else except work and spend time with the other employee's and so it makes for some really interesting situations and emotions.

I've been doing this job for the last two years and so this is my last summer of work for them.  My coworkers are some of my best friends and this experience has brought such wonderful things to my life...it even brought me Tim.  So, the fact that this is my last summer doing it makes me sad.  It's really the first of many lasts that I am going to experience this year as a senior and it's pretty bittersweet.

For now, I'd love you all to check some pictures out from this week.  I am going to be putting content up throughout the week since (I think) I have my head on straight now.  Stay happy and healthy :)

 Seniors <3