2014 was undoubtedly a weird year. It had wonderful highs and it had incredible lows, but it taught me a few things...
Selfishness. I've always been a selfless person, but almost to a fault. I learned in the tail end of 2013 and throughout all of 2014 that it doesn't hurt to put a little focus on yourself. Oftentimes by putting so much focus and importance on other people, you risk losing site of who you are and what you want. I've penned a post on this for early 2015 - I look forward to sharing more!
Vulnerability. If anyone is a longtime reader of this blog, they know that I poured my heart and soul into a relationship that otherwise ended pretty poorly. After the fact, I built the biggest fort around my heart and if anyone even came close to it...well, I came guns blazin' and scared them away. It wasn't until I spent time in El Salvador that I realized that it was okay to let my guard down - that beautiful things happen when I do. I wrote this in my travel journal on my last night abroad: "It pays to keep your heart open - to love, to trust, to be vulnerable. Despite any pain that might come with it, it's worth it." I've tried to remember that every day since and although its hard, it's so hard, and yes it can be painful, it's worth it. Vulnerability isn't easy, but it's a very powerful thing. If you have time, watch this TED talk by Brene Brown on vulnerability, see here.
There's a "good" in every "bad." Bad things happen. That's life. When they happen consistently it's easy to feel like that's all life is offering you. I've learned this year that no matter what happens, no matter how bad, if you look at the situation "glass half full" you're likely to find a positive among the negatives. Everything is a teachable moment. Everything that happens opens the next door. It's all cause and effect. So, no matter how difficult something is, try to see the positive. It makes a worlds difference.
I don't "deserve" anything more than the next guy. This is a bad habit that I've recently gotten into. You see, the tail end of 2014 was hard. There were so many lows and I found myself repeating some version of "I deserve (happiness, the promotion, a good relationship, etc...)" and it sunk in not too long ago that I deserve jack shit. I don't deserve anything more than the next guy. It's hard to watch other people have things you feel you also deserve, but it's also important to remember that it will happen in due time - timing, after all, is everything. I'm a woman of faith and after some time of saying that to myself I started to feel pretty crappy. I trust in God and so because that's the case, I also trust that what's happening in my life is happening for a reason. Telling God you deserve something, I find, get's you nowhere.
Death can bring out the best and worst in people. Always avoid the latter. In 2014, I lost my dog of 15 years and my grandmother in the same month, both suddenly and traumatically. I was devastated. Losing my grandmother was the first death I was really old enough to understand the weight of. I took part in the funeral arrangements, I helped clean out her place, I was there through all of it. I experienced a heartbreak that I had never felt before only made worse by the way in which the family handled it. There were accusations of stolen items, fighting, rude comments and tension. It only deepened the immense sadness that we already felt and what I realized in that moment is that sometimes death brings out the worst in people, sometimes it even shows their true colors, but it also has the ability to bring out the best if you let it. I learned that in those moments it's best to be supportive, understanding, loving and triumphant because that is what your loved-one would want. Let loss strengthen you.
If you want something, go for it. One of the best lessons I learned in 2014 was that if I want something I need to say it. Sometimes you think people pick up on context clues, but more likely than not, they don't. If you want that promotion, ask. If you want someone to kiss you, tell them. You get what you want in life if you have the balls to go for it!
The lessons I've learned in 2014 far exceed this list, but these are the ones I was most happy to walk away with. What did you learn?
Happy 2015, all! Be safe tonight - I'll see you in the New Year!
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