Things I've learned in July

For as fast as July felt like it went, it also feels like it has been so long.  I think in between the craziness that July brought, it also had some phenomenal lessons.

1.  I am not ready to have kids.  This is obvious I guess, since I'm not married or whatever and I'm only 21...but July made me really aware of this fact.  At the beginning of the month Tim and I took a trip to Buffalo to visit my family and I have a ton of little cousins under the age of 7.  It doesn't take long to realize how much of a handful kids really are, even if they are cute as a button.  I just remember looking at Tim and saying "we should wait until we are 1,000 years old."

2.  I shouldn't drink caffeine.  Sometimes I like to test my limits with this stuff but all it does is make me anxious.  

3.  4th of July is a pretty fun holiday.  4th of July, for obvious reasons, is a pretty decent holiday, but growing up we never put much focus on it.  This year, maybe it was because we were on vacation and I was with family, but 4th of July was really good.  

4.  I miss my family in Buffalo.  Since we've already been on the subject of Buffalo I feel like it's safe to just throw out there the fact that I really miss my family.  I don't think this was new information to me, but this vacation made it particularly hard to leave.  I love being around the little cousins and my aunts, uncles and grandparents.  I feel so in my element when I'm there and you throw Tim in the mix and I'm just sold.  

5.  Fast food is both a good and awful idea.  A couple weeks ago Tim and I were feeling spontaneous and were like "omg...let's get Burger King" and for two people who never eat fast food we didn't think it was a bad idea.  And it wasn't a bad idea until like an hour later when both of us were on the couch dying.  

6.  Sometimes it's nice to spend money on yourself.  I've been saving these bullets in my phone for the whole month and for the life of my I can't remember why I put this one.  I hate spending money...but I guess there's a point to it.  I'm generally the type of person that likes to give to other people.  I love how happy it makes them, but every once in a while it's nice to give to yourself.  

7.  Life isn't perfect, neither am I.

8.  Growth is important.

9.  Turning 21 isn't so bad.  It's nice to be able to order a drink in public!

Sunday recap!

Happy Sunday everyone!  It's cold in New Jersey and I am dreading the fact that I have class tomorrow...but that is besides the point.

It has been a really long week here and probably an even longer weekend.  Between staring my internship in the city with an hour and a half commute to rushing back for night classes and business dinners, I hardly had time to slow down.  This weekend I haven't slept past 6:30 a.m. once...not even ONCE.  Needless to say I am utterly exhausted and have to repeat it this week.  Yikes.  

I'm so tired I don't even think I grasped a single thing from church this morning which is horrible of me.  I was just so focused on the million other little things going on.  It's funny because usually I have these weeks every once in a while but for some reason I don't see things slowing down in the near future.  February is a terribly busy month with wonderful things planned but man, it's times like these when I still wish I had caffeine!

On a totally weird side note tangent, I found out today that my married ex-boyfriend, whom I dated all through high school, is having a baby.  It was weird when he got married. I mean granted I wanted to get married like yesterday, but still, besides the point.  I think what makes this all the weirder is that my best friend growing up already has a little girl.  Holy moly....like what?  I in no way mean to judge and I wish them both the best but I suppose I view things differently.  I want to have a huge family, I just want to wait.  I want to spend years with Tim travelling and building a life we are both proud of and feel secure having.  Regardless, this morning I stopped and thought about all of it and couldn't help but feel that awful pang in my chest reminding me that it's not high school anymore.  That graduation is soon, that I have responsibilities, that I am an adult.  None of us are kids anymore and we certainly aren't all hanging out at the beach together talking about when our days would be like this...no they are surely here.