Left my heart in El Salvador...a long overdue blog post

A few months back I caught a flight to El Salvador, a long overdue trip that was initially derailed by a volcano.  Thankfully, I got to see this trip through and it's just one I won't ever forget...or take for granted.

El Sal isn't a vacation destination and so it makes sense that many of you may never think of it as a place you wish to visit, but if the opportunity to serve ever presents itself please take it.

It's hard to sum the experience up, but between the loving, beautiful culture and community, to the people I served, it left me speechless.  Never in my life had I felt that at ease, that content, that faithful.  I left family behind in El Sal, there's a little girl there named Kimberly that I left my heart with, I pray every Sunday for the country...I could go on.

I learned that it's important to be present and open in life.  It felt great to unplug and leave day to day distractions behind.  I soaked in the culture, the people, the faith.  I soaked in their love until it filled me up and I couldn't take it anymore.

I honest didn't think I was going to leave and it absolutely broke my heart when I did.  But I'll be back someday.  In the meantime, I read my travel journal often, look at my photos almost daily, and keep all of it so close to my heart.

I did my best to not take pictures of the people I served at the soup kitchen because that didn't seem right, but below please find some pictures of my teammates, a few people we met along the way that matter a lot to me, and just the gorgeous country <3

 The back of the truck is a common mode of transportation in El Sal.  One of the days we were there the women who we served with at the soup kitchen took us for a ride and one of the best days of my life ensued.  We hiked to the top of a mountain, had fresh coconuts opened with a machete, had the best meals of our lives and just spent it in good company.  

 These pictures are a bit out of order, but this was our last day overlooking the unbelievable view from our camp.

 I'm hysterically crying in this photo and very glad that you can't tell!

 Stations of the Cross in sand!

 Represents no violence against women

The Anxiety Diaries, pray more...worry less

A friend of mine has a phone case that on the back says “Pray More, Worry Less.”

Preach.

I want this phone case but because life is unfair and I can’t afford the iPhone 5 (which the case is made for…only) I am SOL.  ANYWAY.  What a great way to look at things right?  Sometimes I wake up with the most irrational worries and they consume me.  It’s no way to live life, honestly.  When I saw my friends phone case the other day I thought, “That’s it, that’s the ticket!” 

Life happens, in reality we can control very little of it.  It’s not worth consuming yourself with worries that are out of your hand, just pray about them!

There are days I wake up and honestly start worrying about my life two years from now.  No, I’m not kidding and to tell you the truth, writing this, I don’t think I can tell you exactly what I worry about.  Obviously there are worries in life that are natural.  They are things we should be worrying about.  Then there are others…worries that consume us with no real reason at all.  I know for me I have started to take a step back in times that I am worrying most and think, “Is this really worth it right now?  Should I be concerned about it?”  If not, I try to stop.  I can’t control everything (although, I would absolutely love that but I am not God, so there’s that.)  It’s helped.  Even if I’m not perfect at it yet, the thought of trying makes me feel good about myself…proud even. 

I am the type of person who is always worrying about the future as opposed to living in the moment and I’ve missed out on a lot because of it….but that’s a topic for next week. 

The point is, pray more…worry less.  Let life happen.

**I am not an expert in anxiety and if you are feeling it intensely, please seek help in some way!  This series is not meant to be anything other than my experience with my own anxiety.  I hope it provides everyone a little laughter and a lot of relief.  

Series:

The Anxiety Diaries, a welcome address

The Anxiety Diaries, extending my comfort zone

Things I've learned in June

I found this amazing post today on the blog Chatting at the Sky about what had been learned in the month of June and since Emily was encouraging her readers to write their own post, I felt inspired!  

1.  It's important to keep an open mind.  At the beginning of June I moved back to school to work for a couple of weeks.  I mentioned in a previous blog post that I had felt nervous to do so because many of my friends had graduated.  My nerves caused me to be a bit removed from the group and first and it didn't take me long to realize that I had to open up more.  Being pushed outside of my comfort zone was so beneficial.
2.  To love myself even the parts that aren't so great.  2&3 sort of go hand and hand.  I found myself these past couple of weeks encouraging others to love themselves, even the parts they aren't fond of.  So for me, that would be my anxiety.  God made me this way and I've come to understand that he did so because I bring something completely different to the table.  It helps me to think of it that way and it also helps me to come to terms with what I cannot change.  I can always work on dealing with my anxiety and I do daily, but it is who I am.  Going hand and hand with that lesson, I'm finding it crucial to come to terms with things I cannot change in general.  Life is stubborn sometimes and just because I can't get something to go my way doesn't mean the world will end.
3.  To embrace what I cannot change.
4.  I will never stop learning.  Watching my brother and his class graduate on Monday was basically mind blowing.  It was a total flashback.  I could remember how it felt to be that senior in high school who was graduating and heading to college.  I remember how I felt that I would never know more than I knew in that moment.  I was so wrong.  Life has taught me that I will never stop learning.  In three years, what I have come to know through various life experiences is a significant amount more than I knew as a high school senior.  It's truly brilliant to think about.
5.  Seeing the glass half full is much better than seeing it half empty.  I'm not always a negative Nancy, but a lot of the time I can be.  I hate change and I also hate when things don't go how I pictured them.  It frustrates me to no end and I'm working on it, but it's been teaching me the positives of seeing the glass half full rather than seeing it half empty.  Life won't kick me in the ass as much if I start looking at it from that perspective.
6.  Dunkin' Donuts still does not beat out Starbucks for me.  I really try to like Dunkin' more because, you know, it's cheaper and with Starbucks recent hike in prices, it's more fitting for a college student.  However, every freaking time I get a latte I hate it.  I got one today and it tasted like I was drinking cigarette water, or how I'd imagine that would taste.
7.  New underwear is always a good idea.  I typically feel guilty for buying myself something but today I bought new underwear and realized that doing that every once in a while is a fantastic idea.  Out with the old and in with the new.
8.  I hate loud televisions.  No one needs to blast a T.V....
9.  God has blessed me.  I've always known this but it seems like each month he shows me another reason why that's true.